Product Description
A fascinating, definitive, and very personal rumination on the history, science, philosophy, art, and literature of walking, by a skilled cultural commentator.

Geoff Nicholson, author of Bleeding London and Sex Collectors, turns his eye to the intellectual and cultural history of that most common of activities—walking. This simple, omnipresent activity has inspired numerous subcultures, literary and artistic legacies, sporting events, personal memories, epic journeys, mystical revelations, and scandals.

It’s a rich tradition that embraces such novelists as Charles Dickens and Paul Auster, musicians like Robert Johnson and Bob Dylan, and moviemakers from Buster Keaton to Werner Herzog. But it’s also a tradition that includes obsessives and eccentrics, such as the artist Mudman, who coats his body in mud and then walks the city streets; competitive pedestrians such as Captain Barclay, who walked one mile an hour for a thousand successive hours; and gang members who use the hidden language of the “Crip Walk” to spell out messages in the dirt with their scuffing. How we walk, where we walk, why we walk announces who and what we are.

Geoff Nicholson is a master chronicler of the hidden subversive twists on a seemingly normal activity. He analyzes the hows, wheres, and whys of walking through the ages. He finds people who walk only at night, or naked, or for thousands of miles at a time, in costume, for causes, or for no reason whatsoever. Here, he brings curiosity and genuine insight to a subject that often walks right past us. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (12)

Fun, but unnecessary
In some ways, Nicholson is a lot like Bill Bryson--a British/American with a rambling anecdotal style full of tangents and fun facts. As the title suggests, the book is about walking. Nicholson skims some walking-related science, addresses a number of famous walkers throughout history, but mainly just talks about himself. He is especially fascinated by those who performed great feats of walking for no reason in particular.

"The Lost Art of Walking" could have been a lot better. But it could have been worse, too. Despite the lack of solid content, Nicholson manages to carry it along with his funny, engaging tone.

MUST READ THIS FASCINATING, AMUSING BOOK!!
Geoff Nicholson's exceptionally well-written book is a fascinating compilation of every aspect of walking.He enthralled me with tales of literary, eccentric, competitive, political, moon, inventor, artistic and recreational walkers...detailing many of their remarkable feats.His walking experiences and unusual people/things he's seen were delightfully described.I was intrigued by interesting walking tours, expeditions, journeys, songs with "walk" and walking scenes in movies.Mr. Nicholson astounded and entertained me with his impressive knowledge of walking!Amusing stories and trivia provided many laugh-out-loud moments.I really, truly loved this book because it greatly enhanced my cognizance of walking.Many of Mr. Nicholson's insightful comments gave me alot to think about.My favorite is...simply going for a walk is an invitation to a surprize!I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS READ!!

Don't bother
"In 1962, John F. Kennedy, recently come to office, discovered an executive order issued by Theodore Roosevelt in 1956 ....." Huh? Didn't President Theodore 'Teddy' Roosevelt die in 1919?This was the first book by Nicholson that I read, but he really seems to just phone it in.

A ramble
The Lost Art of Walking: The History, Science, and Literature of Pedestrianism
If you have about four free hours available you could either read this book or go for an extended walk.Provided your surroundings are sufficiently inviting and it is a pleasant day, you may prefer the walk.

Nicholson is not promoting walking as a social cause.He believes we cannot expect grand changes in people's willingness to walk when they have more convenient alternatives available.He says that he himself walks not because it is environmentally correct, but because it keeps him sane and it helps him write.

The book is a ramble, a wandering.Do not expect systematic accounts of the history, science, philosophy, or literature of pedestrianism, as the subtitle suggests.Instead, what you will get is a potpourri of ruminations, many only tangentially related to walking, held together only by the thread of Nicholson's own idiosyncratic preoccupations.

Fortunately, Nicholson seems to be an interesting fellow, one you might want to accompany on a good walk.His polished and lightly humorous essay style keeps things moving.

Some of the author's material comes from his own walks.I found his chapter on walking in Los Angles more compelling than those on New York and London, perhaps partly because walking in Los Angeles is not an activity that is often commended.It will help sustain your interest if you are at least vaguely familiar with his featured locations.

Nicholson also draws from literature, film, music, photography, and painting.A few of his choices may enhance your understanding or appreciation for walking; most likely will not.He writes in an ironic tone about several concept art endeavors that have involved walking, in some cases only marginally, at best.

There is a chapter on the accomplishments of several notable obsessive walkers, the kind whose achievements we might read about in a book of world records (I think it is to Nicholson's credit that he resisted entitling this chapter "Walking Feats").Unless you are quite well-versed in this history of eccentric walkers already, you will probably be amused or astounded (or both) by at least a few of them.

The book includes a possibly useful bibliography.Nicholson provides the web address if you would like to view over 60 photos (of people, mostly) he has taken on his walks.

It's far from art
This book has undoubtedly grabbed an interesting subject matter; however, the author has ruined it. The author, out of pain and his 'walking accident', has tried to amuse his readers with his insights and cultural history of the most banal predicament in our everyday lives. But his discussion in all chapters is shallow. The so-called inclusion of literary texts fails to make an enlightening point, but succeeds in producing an endless tirade on 'walking' so as to satisfy the author's own narcisstic ego of telling his own stories. ... Read more

Product Description
The reigning master of obsessive black literary humor delves into the erotic world of a foot fetishist. Nicholson spins a thrilling erotic homage to Manolo Blahnik-wearing, nail-polished, high-arched, beautifully-footed women. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (13)

Sensually Humorous
I read this book some five years ago or so and the laugh-out-loud moments of it has stuck with me since.I keep it on my shelf for times when I need a break from serious literature or not so serious literature, if you know what I mean.

I wrote a review of this book after first reading it, mainly to remind myself of the story and how much I enjoyed it.Today, after seeing "Footsucker" sitting comfortably on my bookcase, I decided to re-read my review. If I weren't reading two books at this time, I'd crack open "Footsucker" and begin chuckling through the story once again.I can't imagine anyone in today's sexual awareness society being to prudish to appreciate this fun story.For what its worth, here is my edited review written five year's ago.I thank author Geoff Nicholson for giving us open minded reader's a little something fun to suck on.


I just finished reading a book that was funny,
enlightening and definitely left me questioning my own
sexual proclivities.

The book `Footsucker' grabbed me from the beginning.
What book with a title like this wouldn't make a
person curious?For as perverse as the title sounds
the book is much more than a dirty sexual expose on
feet.

Of course if your religious beliefs prevent you from
talking about sex in any way or practicing it only in
the missionary position then this book is definitely
not for you.Also, if you can't handle the truth
about your own sexual delights then you probably can't
appreciate our main character's fetish for what it
truly is.

`Footsucker' is a story about a man and a woman who
find their true selves when they find each other.It
just so happens that what brings these two together is
a fine perfectly perceived pair of female feet
possessed by the woman.As with all new relationships
the two go through the stages of immediate passion,
questionable actions and a doubtful future together.

What will make any reader unable to put this book down
is when you find yourself checking out a pair of cute
little toesies settled into an open toe pair of pumps.
If the reader doesn't find him or herself at least
peaking at the next sexy pair he sees, then I've got a
one-way ticket to Utah for that reader along with a
booklet on celibacy.

Throughout the book the main character gives a few
instances of foot worship and shoe design philosophies
throughout history.From Cinderella's glass slipper
to Chinese Foot Binding to modern day movies with
sensual foot messages, society has always seen
something provocative in the feet.

The book makes the practice of something most of us
consider perverse seem like a newly discovered
aphrodisiac from the ancients.The surprising thing
is when you put yourself through the test you may find
a side of you that you didn't know existed.You must
first ask yourself, is it possible that I could be
attracted to a woman just by her feet?Then you go
out and check out the exposed open toed shoes of a
strange woman and catch yourself getting aroused at
just the thought.You may come back to earth when you
realize those cute footsies are attached to a face
like Rosanne Barr, but for that moment of foot focus
your sexual desire was being fulfilled by feet and
feet alone.

Bottom line is the book carries some truth to it
whether we admit it to ourselves or not.

The story itself wasn't anything new or overly
exciting, but it's a story that reads well and leads
you without confusion into each following chapter.
And your always left wondering what's going to happen
next.The author does a good job of giving hints to
the reader.He gives the reader a line that screams
"just wait and see why this is so."I myself am not
that patient with mystery writing, so to have a writer
tell me what happens and then have me anxious to see
why or how it happens is a thrill.

Not to spoil the ending but I'll just say that it left
no loose ends.I almost forgot to mention that part
of the ease in reading this story was the limited
number of characters though it read like there were
more.Maybe it seemed like more because it pulls
characters out of your own past experiences.I know I
was reminded of my one-foot fetish moment.Experience edited out.

And for you ladies you'll find out just what pair of
shoes to wear for that right moment.Since most of
you ladies already know what turns us men on you can
think of this book as a refresher course with some
added lessons.Every man loves a seductress but not
every woman knows the art of seduction.`Footsucker'
may teach you a trick or two.But just to be safe,
bring your own contraceptives.

One of the worst books ever
I know a few foot fetishist, I myself like feet (I wouldn't consider myself a fetishist though) and this book is almost insulting. It's more about shoes than feet and maybe I was hoping for too much because this isn't erotic at all. The writing style is horrendous maybe this is just a bad book, but I think it's the author. this isn't something I'd suggest unless you for some reason you want to look like a foot fetishist.

Some people are soo insecure
I have to admit it was quite a few years ago that I read this book but it left a lasting impression on me.No, I have yet to develop any sort of foot fetish but i recall the heightened awareness of never looking at another person's feet quite the same way again.In fact, i would have to say it instilled in me a deeper appreciation and adimiration for the human foot and the process of buying a new pair of shoes has never been quite the same.Afterall, what does your shoes say about you?
Not for the faint of heart, Geoff Nicholson promises to drive you deep into the world of fetishism.Embrace the journey, because allowing yourself to enjoy this book doesn't make you a sicko.

Should have been called Shoelover
I finished this book after many trips to the library on my lunch break because I was too embarrassed to check it out and have people I know see me with it. Despite a lot of lip service that the protaganist pays to being a "foot and shoe fetishist" and not being interested in the shoes without the feet, his actions make it clear that it is the shoes that are the focus of his admiration, and the feet are not much more than a means to display the shoes he finds so compelling. I mean, he has an entire collection of shoes, he steals shoes from women who leave them in public.

What plot there is in the book is flat, very poorly developed, and all too conveniently wrapped up. While there is much exploration of the main character and his interests and motiviations, there is little or no depth to any of the other characters in the book, especially Catherine, whose feet the protaganist is smitten with. However, that may be intentional by the author because it is her feet, and nothing else about her that so transfixes the protagonist (I don't think I ever caught his name). Also, there is a lot of historical garbage about feet and fetishes that is superfluous, and often simply disgusting. There is a very small twist at the end that I thought was fairly interesting, but it didn't make up for the near complete lack of any attention to plot development.

All in all, if you have a shoe fetish, you'll probably find this book very compelling just because of the fetish aspect. If you have a foot fetish, you'll probably find it interesting for the same reason, although it's probably not exactly what you might expect. For anyone else, you'll probably just think the whole thing is strange.

Psychological study
From the standpoint of a psychologist studying foot fetish this is an interesting viewpoint. The story got lost in the psychology many times. ... Read more

Product Description
In Bedlam Burning, Geoff Nicholson turns his satirical gaze to the ivy covered walls of academia and the rubber rooms of an insane asylum. It all starts at Cambridge University, in the rooms of Dr. John Bentley, a don famous for his book burning parties-"a little, active symbolic literary criticism"-where guests are invited to incinerate books.

It is at one such party that Gregory Collins, brilliant but unprepossessing, meets Mike Smith, a handsome classmate. When Collins's first novel, The Wax Man, is accepted for publication, he convinces Smith to take his place on the book jacket. As a result, it is Smith rather than Collins who receives the offer to be writer-in-residence at the asylum run by Dr. James Kincaid, whose obscure therapeutic philosophy centers on the soothing powers of literature. When Smith compiles a book of the inmates' writings, and it becomes a literary success, this comedy of errors threatens to become a tragedy.

"Bedlam Burning is genuinely comic, and genuinely serious . . . Nicholson has managed to create an acidic and intelligent novel of ideas and idiots." (Scotland on Sunday)

"One of English literature's premier purveyors of black humor" (Time Out) ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Entertaining, funny, clever
This is a very, very funny book.The other reviews were pretty accurate, the one thing I will add is there is quite a bit of British humor...non-Brits might not get all the jokes!But don't let this put you off, the book is very amusing and has a couple of clever plot twists too.

Witty and Clever
Geoff Nicholson's Bedlam Burning is a cleverly-told story about, Michael Smith, an attractive 23 year-old British man, who allows a less-better looking acquaintance of his from University (they met at a book burning party), Gregory Collins, use his photo on the book jacket of Gregory's first novel.Michael, masquerading as Gregory at a book reading, is offered a position in a psychiatric clinic as a writer-in-residence, part of the therapy for those being treated there.Bedlam Burning is also a witty examination of what it is to read, what it is to write, who, and how much, we can believe.Michael almost immediately begins getting submissions from everyone at the clinic.As he ruminates on these submissions, you may wonder, who is really writing these?Can you believe it at all?Gregory keeps coming back into Michael's life, complicating things, but allowing Nicholson to give us more ruminations on the nature of writing, authorship and reading.The novel is engaging, humorous and witty.The characters are just that--characters.The story moves along fairly quickly and it works.An enjoyable read. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (7)

A tale of fiction
I didn't know this was a work of fiction, and not non-fiction.It is told from England, and deals with New Agers, Hippies, and Neo-Nazies.I was entertained by the story, but if given more details about the nature of this book, I would not re-purchase.

Geoff is fun to read
I purchased this title a a gift for a "bugged" friend after reading another of his books and seeing this on his back list.
It shall not disappoint.

I was not impressed
If there was any more fluff in this book contractors would buy it by the truckload and use it as landfill.The obvious waste of time, energy, and research that went into this book is staggering, on par with the worst writer of our time, Tom Robbins.I admit, I did finish it, even though I regret that waste of life, but the ending was worthless.Mr. Nicholson, in an attempt to tie up loose ends only succeeded in putting a bullet in the head of a horse that didn't even make it out of the starting blocks.The characters were unbelievable as human beings from the start, the author's asides into his depressing and pathetic life were a complete waste of paper, and the story line went from bad to worse to unimaginably stupid.At no one point could I succeed in a suspension of disbelief.Maybe it was the nine year old car thief savant, or the sodomasochist undercover reporter, or the closeted gay neonazi; I don't know, but they all seemed to be part of the cast of an off, off, off broadway musical dreamed up by a necrophilic methamphetimine addict.I think after awhile I just kept reading out of pity for poor divorced Mr. Nicholson, who is obviously so obsessed with Volkswagen toys and writing that he can't seem to keep a normal personal relationship.Poor guy.If he ever reads this I hope he takes my advice and lays down the pen.If I were a psychic I'd say his future lies in the manufacture of kidney pies.

Quirky Fun
Apparently this is the second Volkswagen-themed novel by this British author. I have not as yet read "Street Sleeper," so I can't tell you if this is the better of the two or not. What I can tell you is that isa mostly amusing tale of a number of Brits all bound together in one way oranother by Volkswagens. The main problem is that all across England, thereare Volkswagen's blowing up left and right. Who is doing and why, and howthey can be stopped is the alleged plot which drives this book, but thereader is mostly along for the ride as the main characters search formeaning in their existence. I get the impression that many of the maincharacters appeared previously in "Street Sleeper," but how longthe interval has been in unclear. It's a little tough to describe a novelwhich culminates in a rave/VW expo under siege by eight neo-Nazi skinheadsand their delusional leader, who is questing after a holy grail comprisedof a hand carved VW whose sun roof opens to reveal human bone replicas ofHitler and Eva Braun in flagrante... All I can say is that if you have ataste for the quirky, check it out.

Unexpected and fun.
I bought this book at first because I too have a strange passion forVolkswagens. I was thoroughly delighted when I discovered that Mr.Nicholson had a great story to back up the VW obsession, once I got overthe horror of destroying all those VWs that is. The strange cast ofcharacters and their individual motivations are brilliantly woven together.The amazing thing is that even at it's most confusing and destructive Ididn't want this novel to end. I look forward to trying his other works. ... Read more

Product Description
The city of London appears as a character in this humorous novel. It is portrayed almost like a human body, displaying signs of renewal and decay, with a clogged digestive tract, bottlenecks and congestion. It is a city of obsessives, of insouciant sadists, of innocents. It is bleeding London. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (10)

London Bleeding, London Burning
This book is a love letter to the city of London, from several points of view. I normally don't like the books and movies that shift between several people, as one story usually is stronger than the others. (See my intense dislike of _Infinite Jest_ in spite of liking Foster Wallace's nonfiction.) However, here the main character is the city, not its inhabitants. The characters are just transients on the surface of the dynamic city. Nicholson has a character say it better than I just did, but when I wanted to make a not to myself about the central theme of the work, I had no pencil close. It was worth while, but remember my views are idiosyncratic and subjective. Read it and we might have something to to talk about.

Stay away from this book.
I was attracted to this book by a magazine's reference to it as a book capturing the feel of London. Nah. What a waste. Dumb and dry fiction with cardboard characters shuffled chaotically by the pretending but never delivering author.

Like the main hero's plan to visit each and every London's street this book idea may have sounded cool, but the book itself plain and unfunny.

The only laughing matter here is author's constant helpless trying to imitate Martin Amis-style cool wit. It never ever comes close to it, being barely amusing at its best.

Half a star for the good title. Let it be the only part you happen to read.

A dark delight!
Bleeding London is one of the quirkiest, darkest and funniest novels I have ever read! (That says a lot, for I have read thousands of novels.) It focuses on various characters whose experiences in London are both sinister and funny. Mick, Judy and Stuart are quite different, but are somehow brought together in strange ways. They all have a different take on London -- Londoners feeling foreign in their natural habitat while out-of-towners see it as an exciting and daring challenge.

Nicholson does a great job with the description of a big city. As a New York City native, I am able to identify with the story line and the dark message the author is sending. The backdrop of London is different from all of the other British novels I have read -- it shows a more realistic view of the city.

Thought provoking and darkly funny, Bleeding London should be read by those who enjoy a unique literary experience.

Quirky characters and plot
I really enjoyed this book and loved learning about the sides of a greatcity that I didn't know about...very entertaining.

London Calling
This wonderful novel is ideally enjoyed while living in or visiting London, seeing as how the city is a central character in it. With his typical offbeat humor, Nicholson weaves together the lives and stories ofthree of its denizens. Stuart is the owner of a company that does walkingtours of London; burned out, he has decided to walk every single street inLondon in a quest for fulfillment and meaning. Julie is a native Londoner,although half-Japanese and thus is constantly being forced to prove herselfa native. She keeps detailed maps of the locations of all her sexualencounters, as well as those of her partners. Mick is a Sheffielder whosestripper girlfriend was gang-raped by six well-to-do Londoners. He's comedown to the unfamiliar city he hates in order to mete out some revenge.Both these and the supporting cast are wonderfully drawn characters, theirpaths through London are a treat. ... Read more

Product Description
A Simon & Schuster eBook ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

The Dodo as Metaphor and Punchline
In this delectable satire about Hollywood and extinction, Geoff Nicholson serves up a complicated recipe of has-beens, wannabes, maybes, and a few dodos - both literal and figurative.British physician Henry accompanies his aspiring actressand yellow-toothed daughter Dorothy to Hollywood where she is supposed to meet with a talent scout.On the airplane, their paths cross briefly with self-described "Auteur of the Future" Rick, a young man prone to panic attacks and bouts of self-importance.Rick harbors an obsession with dodo birds which leads him (and the reader) to the mysterious story of William Draper, a 17th century medical student afflicted with erythrohepatic porphyria, a genetic condition that causes skin to blister with exposure to sunlight.Draper, too, is obsessed with dodos, and sets out to procure one of the last of the species on display in a seedy quarter of London. As Henry discovers a similarly afflicted man trying to sell him an animation cel of a dodo, as Rick struggles with a bizarrely vivid past life regression brought on by a beautiful one-legged woman, and as Draper tries desperately to find a mate for his beloved but aging dodo, real-life intrudes on film, becoming art in itself, and questions arise about what is contrived and what is real. And of course, since this is a novel, those questions ultimately mean nothing since all is fiction.

With chapter titles cleverly named after movies, Nicholson never loses sight of the artificiality of the genre he is mocking.The scenes that take place in Hollywood are hilarious, while Draper's affliction and affections are touchingly told.Perhaps the most daring turn is Nicholson's dovetailing of disparate plot elements into a wild, unexpected finale. While much is left unexplained, the narrative wink at the end brings it all together.

This is a truly fun novel.Nicholson's wit is more sly than biting, and he relishes the absurd.Below the hilarity lurks more serious themes - of corruption (what else in Hollywood?), of obsession, and of mortality - but these ideas never alter the established tone. Readers will find that they can't put this novel aside for more than a few hours before picking it up again to devour the next chapter. ... Read more

Product Description
Focuses on the unappealing Marcel family - father Frank who wins the Golden Boy fast-food chain, his wife Mary who is having an affair with chef Leo, and his son Virgil. All three get embroiled in the machinations of the Everlasting Club, an organization dedicated to feasting. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (4)

When the hunter becomes the hunted
The vagueness of what is going on makes this book stand out from others; the reader is kept in the dark about the present but gets the past woven in through the chapters to build up the story. I felt like I took a journey with Virgil Marcel, his invitation to the secret Everlasting Club in England wasn't traveled alone, it was a trip taken with the reader deeply immersed in with everything that was going on. For a foreigner such as himself the food was strange sure, but the real food that was served and created for the club was a mixture of disgusting combinations, fancy pairings, secret meats and an overabundance of liqueurs, not to mention the naked woman lounging on the dinging room table...

Virgil has no idea what he has gotten himself into, spoiled, rich and young he takes advantages of what the club has to offer but unknowns to him its not as simple as it seems. Something dark and secret and mysterious is happening and the members who belong to the club are no ordinary people. Sadists freaks, gluttons and weirdos with insatiable strange fetishes have feasted there for the past three hundred years and they have no intentions of changing their bizarre, dark rituals and feasts. As Vrigil gets tangled up deeper into the nets of despair and simply walking away is not an option. Half the fun was reading about the history of the members and the other was worrying what was happening to the guests, the chapters go back and forth giving more glimpses of what this club is really into.

The writing was silky smooth and flowed easily, it never bumped around my head like a blind critter and the ideas and theories the author included were not too foreign, but it was unusual to see crazy things one can make up in their head or simply know in print, staring them in the face. Nicholson's charm lays in his descriptions, the amount of food in this book is staggering, most of it doesn't come close to anything I would be able to eat, a creature put together on a silver platter with a shark's head and octopus tentacles, claws and other weird parts is not your daily fare, yet it was something that The Everlasting Club was known for and the reader gets to experience it all.

The bizarre meets gruesome and perverse in this strange but wonderful tale, and the ending was great, I felt scared that this thin book will end before thing get really ugly but it was all tied up wonderfully. Full of twists and turns this book doesn't shy on taking the deep plunge into the deep end of the psyche!

- Kasia S.

Money well saved
I am very happy to say that I did not purchase this book; it was loaned tome for my opinion.I find the author's mentality so disgusting (you cansee why from the other reviews) that I am not even going to finish readingit.Generally speaking, I enjoy satire, but I find this just a vehicle forthe grossness that so many find desireable and amusing in today's culture. Save your money - buy a GOOD book!

Capitvatingly Disgusting!
All right, I admit it. I have become a depraved and obsessive fan of Geoff Nicholson! I was compelled to read all his titles and each one has pleasantly surprised me. I don't know how the mind of this man works but itis scary how he can, with such dark humour and hysterical grotesqueness,manipulate his plots and characters.

In "The Food Chain" hedoes this once again. I literally was wincing as I read it. I have been tomovies where I was afraid to look at the screen but was so morbidlytansfixed by what was going on that I couldn't completely turn away. Thiswas how I felt about the entire book.

In short, if you love a good readand wish you could tap into the twisted side you know you must have deepdown somewhere, get this book. Then again, I suppose I'd say that about anyof Nicholson's works.

Can't wait for "Flesh Guitar"!

A love/hate book , thats hard to put down !
i loved this book so much .. yet at tymes i wanted to throw it and still ikept on reading it .. the story hold's you captive as it twist and turnsrevealing the story bit by bit.. if you haven't read it yet i sugest doingso soon... i could not stop reading it ... Read more

Product Description
Guitar players change lives. Everybody knows that. Geoff Nicholson's deliriously funny Flesh Guitar is an overstimulated love letter to the guitar, complete with feedback, reverb, and special guest appearances, with a lead player the likes of whom has not been seen since Hendrix departed this earth.

Into the Havoc Bar and Grill, an end-of-the-world watering hole on the outer fringes of the metropolis, walks the entertainment, Jenny Slade. She has the look down: beat-up leather jacket, motorcycle boots, cheekbones, and wild hair. But she's no ordinary guitar heroine. Her guitar is like none her audience has ever seen, part deadly weapon, part creature from some alien lagoon. Is that hair? Are those nipples? Is it flesh? Where does Jenny Slade come from? Where does she go? Geoff Nicholson fans know that wherever that is, the ride will be like no other.

"The electric guitar is Nicholson's latest test case and he nails it. Flesh Guitar is brilliant and clever beyond your wildest dreams." --Newsday

"A blackly comic homage to Western culture's obsessive love affair with the electric guitar . . . always clever."--The New York Times Book Review

"[Flesh Guitar] should prove, once and for all, that Nicholson is incomparable."--Independent on Sunday ... Read more

Customer Reviews (6)

Flesh Guitar- Worst Novel
This is one of the most poorly written books I've ever had the discomfort of reading. It lacks style, imagination and depth. I suppose it could possibly entertain 13 to 16 year old wanna-be musician's, but if your over that age, then don't waste your time. This book is not even comedic. Don't waste your money. Instead buy Angels & Demons or Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy --Something with content...-Anything but this...No offense to Geoff Nicholson the author

A Road To Nowhere
Definitely the weakest of the three Nicholson books I've read (the other two being Bleeding London and Still Life With Volkswagen), this novel haphazardly follows the career of Jenny Slade, an avant-garde female guitar player. Other readers have criticized it's lack of narrative framework or traditional plot, but I think it adheres fairly closely to the traditional "quest for knowledge" structure. The problem is that the various incidents and episodes fail to add up to the larger knowledge or truth that is implicit in such a structure.

Over the course of the book, Jenny appears as a vision and converses with various guitar gods right before they die, including Robert Johnson, Jimi Hendrix, and Kurt Cobain, and also dispenses advice to a young Frank Zappa. Intermingled are her encounters with fictional musicians, the most captivating of which is the one-armed Freddie Terrano and his band of worshipers. Intermingled are excerpts from the "Journal of Sladean Studies", an uber-fanzine written by her favorite fan. Ultimately, it's a surreal hodgepodge that is intermittently entertaining, but kind of meanders to nowhere. In that sense, I think Nicholson is rather like Jonathan Lethem, who is also capable of great writing and wild ideas, some of which are genius, and some of which flop. For Nicholson, this is a flop.

Directionless and a bit pointless
This is indeed Nicholson's weakest book. A series of vignettes and anecdotes that taken individually would be fun, are presented in the place of a traditional narrative or even an overt message.These tales of theflesh guitar simply don't add up to much.

A big letdown
As a fan of Nicholson, hands down, this is the weakest of his work.It's a surreal story set in a post-modern guitar rock fantasy world that goes nowhere.(Was he experimenting with a new style?) After all the brilliantplots, characters, and dialogue; this was a huge letdown.

...wildly inventive, my ass...
If you want to read a poorly written book with no plot and very little to no understanding of music or guitars or the creative process, Flesh Guitar is for you. ... Read more

Product Description
This is a crime novel with a humorous twist in which the bereft wife of a dead man offers five hundred pounds to each person with whom he had recent contact, to investigate his death. The author's previous novel, "Street Sleeper" was short-listed for the Yorkshire Post first novel award. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Do Not Untie This Knot!
What a hopeless hash of a book.I'll be the first to admit that the conception of the book was undoubtedly clever, and must have taken a good bit of work.But just as it's not possible to make a cake without decent ingredients and it *is* possible to make a horrid cake despite the best ingredients, The Knot Garden turns to compost in this author's hands.The book is a mystery, yet as we near the end of the book, there is no mystery left to solve, and along the way, no Aha! moment.One needn't be clever to figure the thing out-- once the clues are in place, a six year old could untie this unsavory glop.And ultimately, with everything and everyone revealed, there is an overwhelming sense of "So what?" for the reader to take home.Rarely have I disliked a book so much that after finishing it the only reasonable thing left to do is throw it in the trash and try to forget ever having read it.This is one such book.

Gardening mayhem
This book follows a lot of the themes common in Geoff Nicholson's books - intrigue and sex revolving around an unlikely pivot, in this case a TV gardener. The book is written from a number of peoples views, and whilst this worked well in his other books, the number of angles taken spread the story a little thinly. Whilst I enjoyed the book, it is by no means his best, and is probably one for the true fans. ... Read more

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Three, two, one . . . lift off! Celebrate the 30th anniversary of the first moon walk on July 20th with this 3-D extravaganza of space exploration facts. Unfolds to four feet and hangs by an eyelet at the top. NASA photos. ... Read more

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Charismatic film director Dan Ryan is planning to make 'The Errol Flynn Movie' and Jake is the struggling actor he wants in the role of the famous swashbuckler and seducer. Initially dubious, Jake soon becomes immersed in the details of Flynn's life and realises they have more in common than he'd care to admit. But as fascination veers towards obsession, Jake finds himself in a nightmare of epic proportions. Wildly funny, sexy and compelling The Errol Flynn Novel casts new light on one of Hollywood's most ambiguous icons. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

A Tale of a Flynn Completist
"However, if you are a Flynn completist, and you happen to stumble upon a used copy for no more than 50 cents, you might go ahead and add it to your collection - if only to keep it out of the hands of someone else.. Or it might make a useful thing to start the logs burning in your fireplace on a cold winter night. Or still again, it might be worth keeping in one of your drawers for its limited curiosity value, as yet one more piece of garbage about Errol Flynn that has no redeeming value, and is about as bad a book as it could possibly be." Lincoln Hurst

It appears that there is a love/hate relationship with this novel. And it looks as if hate is on the fast-track. Not for me, I found it a bizarre fascinating read. Geoff Nicholson is known as a farcical writer, and I can see some of that exhibited in this novel, but it needs more. This was no laugh out loud novel, sort of a hehehe under your breath. Some of the story is so far fetched that I can envision a movie screen with the characters looking at each other in confusion.

Jake is a down at the heels wanna-be actor, working in a photo shop when one day a former classmate, Sacha, appears, and within a day Jake has been hired to appear in a film about Errol Flynn. Dan Ryan, the director starts sending reams of paper, books about Flynn, music and what not. Jake has difficulty keeping up with all of the info flying at his feet. And then he realizes that he wants to play Errol Flynn. This seems to have been the plan all along and off he goes to make a movie. Nothing is ever as it seems we are told, and that is true here. The film is strange, Errol Flynn is shown as the sexually explicit man he was, warts and all are fully filmed. Dan Ryan, the director becomes more unhinged and the dark side of movie making is exposed. Dan Ryan's, wife Tina, seems to be made of sterner stuff but is that really true?The novel moves from London to Hollywood to Las Vegas and the desert in-between. The charcters are more outlandish and overdone as the story moves on, but that is when the fun really begins.The novel bogs down at times, but at the same time I needed to know the ending of this strangely elusive novel. The sex talk is explicit, but there is nothing here that has not been said time and time again.

This is a novel of obsession, the dark side of Hollywood with a twist. Not enough of a twist to keep Errol Flynn intact, but this was entertaining in a bizarre sort of way. Would Errol Flynn approve? No idea, but why should we care?

Recommended. prisrob 01-01-08

Looker

Sex Collectors: The Secret World of Consumers, Connoisseurs, Curators, Creators, Dealers, Bibliographers, and Accumulators of "Erotica"

Bedlam Burning

errol flynn by nicholson
This is not a book about Flynn - but a sleazy novel using Flynn's name-notfor flynn fans ... Read more

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"Geoff Nicholson's twelfth novel is an elegantly constructed and often funny story rendered with wry, surgical precision." (Matthew Klam, The New York Times Book Review)

"Deliciously cynical and witty. A clever and original novel of deception, failures, and hope."(Washington Times)

Female Ruins is the story of Christopher Howell, a cult architect who allegedly built just one building-reputedly a wild, willful amalgam of styles ranging from 11th-century Norman to 20th-century Neutra. When Howell's daughter-and keeper of his flame-Kelly, and a Howell groupie named Jack Dexter hook up in a free-falling love affair, the search for this apocryphal building becomes a search for a lost past. Brilliantly funny and seriously obsessive, Female Ruins shows how the castles we build are often symbols of our own needs, follies, and magnificent obsessions. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

mythical erections
Architects these days just build things, and they don't even get to be very famous.There used to be architect-gurus back in the twentieth century, who said things that got quoted a lot - people like Frank Lloyd Wright and Le Corbusier. Kelly Howell is the daughter of one of these architect-philosophers, who was famous for not having built anything until he got crushed by one of his creations (a concrete hand).. She is conflicted about her feelings for her parents, makes a living driving a cab, and keeps trying to avoid giving interviews to biographers.A persistent American admirer of her father inveigles his way into her life.
It's mostly set in rural Norfolk, England.It is brilliantly satirical but also very cleverly plotted, especially in the last few chapters (set in California) that twist and turn and set the story on its head.

Architectural Madness
I am so addicted to Mr. Nicholson! I own pretty much everything he's written, except for a few out of print pieces I'm still searching for. This new piece has his signature style of taking something common and twisting your perspective so that you see things in ways you never could in everyday life and you become just as intertwined with the subject as the characters are...

This book deals with the world of architecture (not the typical art history terminology and styles I memorized in college) and what it says about our human condition, especially about the coincidence and sometimes wimsy of it all.

I found myself completely thrust into the world of the characters and even though things seemed a bit predictable, the way things are revealed through Mr. Nicholson's twisted and descriptive language kept me completely inthralled and waiting to see what happens next.

If you liked his other books, this is a definite must-read. If you've never read anything before, try the Food Chain, Hunters & Gatherers or Bleeding London first and then go for this one.

Female Ruins a Fun Read
Geoff Nicholson's latest book is a fun read that doesn't amount to too much.And while the protaganist is likable and nicely drawn, there is little movement or development in her character.

In general Nicholson isa cultural critic, a sort of poor man's Roland Barthes.And hisobservations about architecture in "Female Ruins," are funny andastute.One gets the feeling, after reading a lot of Nicholson, that thisis the reason he writes novels.He wants to talk about some subject thatis obsessing him.Whether it be the electric guitar, VW bugs, footfetishism, or the city of London, it's always some external subject thatdrives the story.Sometimes this is successful (Hunters and Gatherers,Bleeding London, Everything and More) and sometimes this drive to explainand expose the facts gets in the way (Flesh Guitar).

Here we have a storythat carries the reader through, but doesn't ultimately satisfy.FemaleRuins won't bore you, it's a nice ride, but when you close the book you'llbe finished with it.

Female Ruins is a forgettable book. ... Read more

Product Description
This travelogue/autobiography covers journeys to the edge of the Sahara in Morocco and across Australia, a day trip to the Pyramids and his return to the deserts of California, Arizona and New Mexico, as well as his thoughts on a failed marriage, a new union and the imminent death of his father. ... Read more

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A comedy of human behaviour and philosophical debate. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Outlandish and hilarious black comedy
Absolutely hilarious. Really one of the funniest books I've ever read. Great writing, great story and one funny scene after the next. Highly recommended.

Unusual
A wellmeaning but pompous nebbish sets off on a disastrous trip with his hellish family (nymphomaniac wife, religious freak daughter and delinquent son). His misadventures pile on like an early Charley Chaplin's. It's kind of an updated "Diary of a Nobody." These comparisons are the problem, because when you read "Diary of a Nobody" (or watch an early slapstick comedy movie) the hundred year old jokes are funnier. Originality is the soul of wit. The updating consists of adding a lot of sex and violence, which doesn't bother me so much because of any puritanical beliefs but because it is gratuitous and indicates that the author could not think of any better way to update. The ending rather suggests that he ran out of ideas other than escalating the violence.
The definitive updating of "Diary of a Nobody" has yet to come. ... Read more

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Customer Reviews (1)

Awesome Footie Stories
Awesome collection of 25 short stories and essays about soccer. My favorites were Stephen Baxter's "Clods," Tim Pears' "Ebony International" Nicholas Lezards' "The Beautiful Game," SteveGrant's "Casuals," Geoff Nicholson's "The WinningSide," Mark Morris's "The Shirt," and Mark Timlin's"Wonder Boy." That said, almost every story has somethingworthwhile about it, and for a soccer fan, this is a must read. ... Read more

Product Description
Frank Lloyd Wright was the first great American architect. His buildings are ruggedly individualistic, often single-family homes, and even when he devised utopian schemes for larger numbers of people he still envisaged homes on large plots of land. In the course of his career he designed about a thousand structures. His designs included skyscrapers, gas stations, churches, as well as hundreds of individual houses. This volume balances a biography with an analysis of Wright's influence as an architect and designer. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

No frills Wright
For those who would like to know more about Mr. Wright, this is the starting point. It reminds me of an extended encyclopedia entry. It's very accurate, complete and straight forward. It's a complex story of murder, arson, hubris, womanizing, and genius. It's rolled out in a very interesting and, if brief, authoritative and digestable form.
I recommend it for those of high school age and beyond. Unfortunately it does not contain any photos of Mr. Wright's works. The line drawings are just OK. ... Read more